Christina MiIian Is Having A Baby

People report that the last famous person announcing that they will soon be waddling on swollen ankles and snacking on salt crackers to beat the first trimester barfs is Christina Milian.

Christina has not released an album since 2006 and in the meantime she plays in various TV shows and the strange Hallmark film. She is also very active on social media and does a strange sponsored post for Fashion Nova and the like. With that kind of current resume, you might think that Christina might have announced that she was pregnant by holding a Clear Blue stick in one hand and a tumbler of pregnancy-safe detox tea in the other. But 37-year-old Christina and her 33-year-old friend (or potential fiancé), French singer Matt Pokora, did it in a fairly predictable way. They posed with the sonogram photo posted on Instagram yesterday.

Matt posted a black and white version of that photo, but his caption read:

“La relève is on its way! Legacy on the road! #happy man “

As you’ve probably guessed, this will be Matt’s first child. Christina has a 9-year-old daughter named Violet from her ex-husband, The-Dream.

Christina and Matt have been together for about two years. I hope that Christina and Matt strengthened the security in their home after it was robbed twice last year. I would hate a new package of bandits to set off with their brand new Baby Bjorns and Silver Cross strollers.

If you are completely familiar with Christina Milian’s discography, then you know that it would be criminal of me not to joke with a song theme about her pregnancy. So this announcement is proof that she has dipped it low and Matt has popped that thing. You could even assume that they did it from AM to PM. I was about to joke about Christina who started making babies by suggesting, “Every little thing we do – and I mean everything – should be between me and you.” But that number was recorded with Ja Rule. And I’m pretty sure he had nothing to do with this. You know, because she’s not with Ja Rule. But also because he is too busy fighting people on the internet.

Written by Tommy Kilmer

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