The Brexiter’s guide to why recessions are brilliant

The Brexiter’s guide to why recessions are brilliant

IF the economy is shrinking, partly as a result of Brexit, it is vital for Brexiters to pretend that this is a good thing. Diehard Leaver Roy Hobbs explains the many benefits.

People need toughening up

Our ancestors did not need modern luxury, such as iPhones and jobs. A little bit of trouble in the recession will bring the transgender snowflake generation into shape, which is vital if we have to storm the beaches of Normandy again.

It’s good for the environment

By not making things, the precious resources of Mother Earth are preserved. Even if all environmentalists are a dreadlocked scum.

It’s good for social mobility

Politicians talk about improving life chances, but have they considered taking the benefits of everyone to the same level? An unemployed doctor who sits down with an unemployed factory worker to smoke roll-ups is a vision of an equal society that Dr. Martin Luther King could only dream of.

It’s super-healthy!

Most of us can do the takeaways, and that’s easy if you can not afford them. You can also finally start the practice of the new year by never having £ 2.40 for the bus.

You can be nostalgic about the last recession

We Brits love nostalgia. It’s mostly about killing Germans, but why not look misty at the financial crash of 2008? Do you remember how we showed the old Blitz spirit and went to each other’s houses with cakes and bottles of ale to hear Girls Aloud listen?

Written by Tommy Kilmer

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