in

What sort of car twat are you?

With so many makes and models, there are many ways to be a car that has a cunt. But what kind of vehicle twattery suits you? Read our guide.

Thrifty twat

They have decent incomes, but do not hate spending money, so drive a 90s Golf or an old Volvo attacking a black plume of smoke like a squid. They are so tense that you endure endless failures until they completely fall apart like a clown car.

Show-off twat

They love people staring at their Porsche Spyder or Aston Martin. Unfortunately, the kudos quickly lose out when you get off, and everyone realizes that you’re a middle-aged businessman in iron-on jeans who rocked Chris Rea.

Wide boy twat

You are driving a Beemer or Merc. You like to imagine you look like a successful drug dealer. You are not. You work in a shop and skint as usual, so you go back to dinner with your mother.

Illegal twat

In an uninsured Ford Escort the 1980s without TÜV and hubcaps you stagger through the streets. Other drivers fear an accident with you, but to be honest, a small push will likely reduce your drive to a pile of grate and an old Stevens cassette from Shakin.

Boy racer twat

You have modified your Citroen Saxo or Honda Civic to be technically a different car. Their proudest accomplishment is to turn the exhaust around so other road users think they are being overtaken by Apollo 7.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Former ‘Bachelor’ Star Rips Cassie Randolph Apart for Breakup With Colton Underwood

What Kate Middleton ‘Can’t Stand’ about Trooping the Colour