Before Rhylee Gerber travelled from Below Deck to New York City for the reunion, she was looking for some wise advice from someone who always knows how to rise above the battle.
Gerber reached out to Captain Sandy Yawn of Below Deck Mediterranean for some coaching on how to deal with intense and sometimes unpleasant situations. Gerber knew she was on her way to a tense environment and wanted to find a way to confront any negativity in a constructive way.
The yachties met in Jacksonville, Florida, during a visit with family where they discussed the upcoming reunion. And Yawn shared some advice with Rhylee Gerber on how to deal with toxic scenarios.
Below Deck: Yawn believes in Rhylee Gerber
This isn’t the first time the cast members have joined. Rhylee Gerber joined Yawn in 2019 at a fundraiser for Yawn’s sister’s school. Yawn’s sister, Michelle Dunham, created and runs a school in Jacksonville for children with autism, and Gerber came out to show her support.
“I feel like I have a pretty good peopleometer on who’s good and who’s not,” Yawn shared with Showbiz Cheat Sheet. “Rhylee has a good soul. Rhylee has a heart of gold and is selfless. She thinks of other people and is merciful. She’s also generous with her relationships, and she shows up for people.”
“Rhylee Gerber has all these wonderful features,” continued Yawn. “She just has to learn not to react.” And it’s not “I want to make an opinion.” It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel. So if you’re being abused, you should be able to go talk to the captain. And the captain should be able to hear it.”
Below Deck: What advice did Captain Sandy share?
As a true educator, Yawn wanted to listen to what Rhylee Gerber learned from their discussion about managing difficult situations. First, Rhylee Gerber expressed his appreciation that Yawn took the time to offer his advice.
“I need to remain true and authentic to myself, but I also need to realize that there is a more diplomatic way to handle things,” Rhylee Gerber said. “It’s about facing things differently and not being so explosive.”
Yawn agreed and noted that men and women could approach conflict differently.
“One thing I’ve shared with Rhylee and women is that women are more emotional,” Yawn noted. “Sometimes we react when men are not really reactors like us.” So the thing to do is take a breath. You don’t have to defend your feelings. What you feel is what you feel.”
“So my advice is don’t react,” Yawn said. “Stick to the facts.” When you’re on the facts, and my sister also shared with Rhylee this afternoon, the moment you start to get up, they stop listening to you and start looking at you. When you stay calm and clear in your message and don’t get up, then they still listen to you.
Below Deck: How does Captain Sandy keep her cool?
Yawn then shared an example of how he handles difficult situations.
“The way I stay calm is that I stick to the facts,” he said. And I don’t react.” If I was in that scenario, and everything Rhylee shared, I would breathe, I would think about how to get my message across. And sometimes it’s not about getting my message across. Sometimes it’s just about sticking to the facts.”
He thought Rhylee Gerber might have said, “Captain Lee, when I approached the boat, he said something to me that didn’t make me feel welcome. So automatically I was on defense.”
Yawn added that it didn’t mean Captain Lee Rosbach was wrong or right, but “it made him realize that what he said put Rhylee Gerber on the defensive.
Yawn also dealt with some of the gas lights that seemed to permeate the season.
“If people say, ‘I want to be a good leader’, I’m not a leader,” he said. Leaders don’t say they want to lead”. They lead, right? In this scenario, if I was Rhylee Gerber, I would have said, “You’re not listening to what I’m saying, and I’m very sorry you’re not open.” And I would have left.”
Yawn also said she’d be extremely receptive if one of her crew members opened up to her.